Part I. Disappearing Women 7
1 Are You a Disappearing Woman? 9
2 How Women Lose Themselves in Relationships: The Four Truths You Need to Know 16
3 Why Women Tend to Lose Themselves in Relationships: The Cultural, Biological, and Psychological Influences 25
4 The Disappearing Woman Continuum 45
Part II. How to Maintain Your Sense of Self while Flourishing in a Relationship: The Seven Commitments 63
5 Commitment 1: Learn to Go Slowly 65
6 Commitment 2: Be Yourself and Tell the Truth about Yourself 84
7 Commitment 3: Maintain a Separate Life 102
8 Commitment 4: Stay in the Present and in Reality 121
9 Commitment 5: Don't Go Changing to Try to Please Him 140
10 Commitment 6: Cultivate Equal Relationships 151
11 Commitment 7: Speak Your Mind 159
Part III. Become a Woman of Substance: Developing a Self and a Life That Satisfies You 173
12 Find Your Authentic Self 175
15 Find Your Substance 219
Conclusion: Blending and Balancing 246
Where Do You Go from Here? 251
Appendix I Embracing Your Femininity: Especially for Those on the Mild End of the Continuum 253
Appendix II Women of Substance Support Groups: Especially for Those Near the Middle of the Continuum 258
Appendix III When You Need Professional Help: For Those Who Fall on the Extreme End of the Continuum 264.